Baby steps

It is starting to hit me that I'm not in Utah anymore. Everything was all great and dandy until I called my old roommate / cousin / best-friend. We talked about how great life was back in Provo. When he get's hungry, he is back at home in under 15 minutes with a full fridge and an enormous quiet back yard. That's when it hit me. I could have that. I could throw in the towel, pack up my two bags and be back in Provo in under 24 hours. 

I could do that. What if... I really haven't doubted making the decision to come out here yet. But if I could come close to doubting, to the point where I look in the mirror and wish I saw the exact same person, only in Provo. I could do that, but I won't. 

I keep thinking about at talk given by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland. He said, "Don't panic and retreat. Don't lose your confidence. Don't forget how you once felt. Don't distrust the experience you had. That tenacity is what saved Moses when the adversary confronted him, and it is what will save you." (Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence, 1999)

I have to admit, I have wondered, feared, struggled, and blamed. I don't doubt nor will I ever that I wasn't supposed to come to New York, but I do wonder.

I literally feel like I'm standing on a sidewalk and the only light is coming from behind me. It's peaking through a door that is slightly ajar. In front me is a big black nothing. I can't even see the ground in front of me. I can feel that I'm not supposed to turn back to the door, but to keep moving forward. Because there is no light, I only trust myself to take feverishly small steps. Safe steps. Baby steps.

When times are tough

I had a deep realization this morning. Every time things get really tough and I'd love to throw in the towel, I picture the last turn of my marathon last summer. At that moment I have to decide, am I going to walk across the finish line or am I going to do what I did last summer and dance across the finish line?

Unfortunately I have only had this image appear in my mind twice this week. Both times were on the treadmill on the top floor of a very tall building in New York City.

That being said, I have now had 7 interviews in The Big Apple. All interviews were "good". Each interview ended with an extremely convenient "we'll get back to ya".

On average, I check my email every two minutes (that's factoring in my 7 hours of sleep every night).

Still single, still unemployed, and still can't wait to make it big.

Just checkin' in.
-Clint

PS, before selling everything, I graduated from BYU

this is actually Corey's yellow tassel. I'm a proud owner of a white one.

New Motivations

Time flies. But in this time that has flown, I have done many things.
I've:

• Been accepted to the advertising program at BYU
• Started the weirdest, yet most successful blog I could ever dream of
• see  http://simplyfuzzies.blogspot.com/
• Been promoted to Graphic Designer where I work
• Enjoyed a season pass to Park City Ski Resort
• Started a new hobby
• see  http://500px.com/ClintonCalder
• Ran all 26.2 miles of a marathon

These are many great things that I'm really happy about, however, I'm still single, so the fun shall go on.

My family has been trying to get me hooked on a TV show for a long time. I generally don't watch television anymore, other than the championships of any sport. But this show really meant something to my older brother, so I decided to give it a shot.

The show is called Suits. It's a television show about a young buck trying to get by in an incredibly successful Law Firm in downtown New York City. It has humor, drama, and obviously my favorite part . . . clever writing. If a show has good writing, I tend to really enjoy it. For example, I could watch 500 Days of Summer  500 times and still not get sick of it. 

The reason I wanted to talk about this, and I don't know how it happened, but television shows like this are really motivating to me. Perhaps it's because everyone in the show has a modeling contract (actually that is the only thing I don't like about the show. All the actors are supermodels ha ha). I like the chemistry between the main character and his boss. It is the kind of relationship I try to create with my bosses. I want to be the most determined worker wherever I am employed. This generally happens only when I love what I do . . . and fortunately, my current job is exactly what I love doing.